Welcome. I am the wife of a GOOD MAN suffering from addiction. My husband, a kind soul, became deeply entangled with addiction in his adolescence, relying on intoxication as a numbing agent for surviving an abusive, toxic family dynamic.
Over the course of the past few years, I suspected he had returned to his unhealthy coping mechanisms from time to time, but I truly didn’t realize the extent of the problem. This blog is a thought journal, a stream of consciousness as I move through my realization of my husband’s relapse, discovering the depth of his childhood trauma, and how I am navigating through the wreckage with my children in tow.
If you, like me, are the wife (partner, spouse, etc) of a good person, suffering from alcoholism (alcohol use disorder), substance use disorder, addiction (gambling, sex addiction, pornography, etc), perhaps this content can be useful.
As someone living in the home with an addict, I too had become sick, dedicated or “addicted” to the following:
- Protecting my husbands “sobriety”
- Keeping my husband sober
- Keeping drugs and alcohol out of the house
- Ensuring my husband was taking the proper amounts of any given prescription
- Keeping the peace in our home when my husband became emotionally agitated
Does any of this resonate with you?
Perhaps you are searching your home for “secret spirits” (hidden alcohol bottles, hidden substances, hidden communications on phones, etc)?
Perhaps you have trouble sleeping at night if your spouse is awake (in the home, or out for a “drive”)?
Perhaps you have adopted a role of hyper-vigilance, always looking for the “next shoe to drop” or the next “threat” to your peace and serenity?
If this sounds remotely familiar to you, welcome; you have found a community of peers. This is a safe place of unconditional love, respect, and acceptance. We are the broken-hearted, we are the solo parents, we are in the process of healing. Most importantly, we are actively striving to DO BETTER, BE BETTER, and to heal from this pervasive disease.
So join me on this journey through the darkest of times. Let’s enlighten ourselves to the truth, live in the light, and transform into better versions of ourselves. Welcome to your awakening.
With any of my content, I urge you to: take what serves you, leave the rest.
XOXO, Anonymously Becks